Jason Wiliams brings us a new Saturday Barwench Tales!!
(1 Kings 20:11 GNB) King Ahab answered, “Tell King Benhadad that a real soldier does his bragging after a battle, not before it.”
(1 Kings 20:11 RSV) And the king of Israel answered, “Tell him, ‘Let not him that girds on his armor boast himself as he that puts it off.’”
Especially if he then discards half of it along the way.
Perfect quote for this one. Even has a Jezebel for a girlfriend. (Gack! Can you imagine being married to Sarah the Saracen? Wondering every day if it’s your last?)
A real RPGer always overloads WOOT!
Do their avatars then always have mismatched body parts – like the matchstick legs supporting over-muscled torsos, arms, hands, heads and mouths? I’m simply kicking myself that I didn’t see those legs sooner…
That’s why fighters should always wear two sets of armor, that way when they take one off they can fight like a wild man.
Dennis Miller lives
Sounds like you’re acquainted with a few characters in DBZ and Naruto… and probably several that I don’t know at all, too.
I wonder if Dirk will have to return his skull helmet once this tale is over. I think he looks better without it, but Sarah probably prefers guys in skull helmets.
Marj, this is the sory of how he got his skull helmet in the first place
Dun! Dun! Dunnnn!! wutzgonnahap’n?wutzgonnahap’n? OMG!! OMG!! Gotta wait a whole ‘nother WEEK!!! AAhRRRrrrrggggh!!!
You KNOW it’s cold when even the snow is blue. BRRrrrr!!
I’ve also spent a bit of time mountain climbing myself … Dirk might well be in for a surprise at how thin the air is at such an altitude, and how well-adapted his target is. He’s in for a fight against the odds …
Hmmmm ok first I was gonna suggest he’s gonna get his head stuck in the skull accidentally somehow, but then I remembered once he “popped” his skull while yelling here, so guess not.
Then, uh, Houston, we have a problem, because Dirk said here that he DID kill the minotaur whereas he said THERE that he didn’t. Now which is true?!
I’m not one to go looking for narrative loose bricks, BUT…
OH, it will all be explained soon…..thanks all for reading!
I hope your delay in posting the Saturday Session isn’t due to something serious – either for you, for David or anyone else.
Well, there’s also Rahab, who ran a, er, tavern, inside the walls of a city the Israelites wanted to conquer. She did “incapacitiate” the warriors of the foe so that Israel might enter and take the city more surely.
Or Deborah, the chariot-riding Judge over Israel who led her people to victory over the Philistines – I’m thinking half Boudicea and half Golda Meir here., (although the Boudicean half would have still wanted the Champion’s Portion after victory, ie spit-roasted boar in the Celtic manner., while Golda would have celebrated kosher… it’s not wise to follow these analogies through logically…)
Rahab helped the spies to be sure by hiding them and misdirecting the men of Jericho when they came to find them.
The story is here in Joshua 2:
The Book of Judges says nothing about Deborah riding a chariot, either. As judge she encouraged Barak to do what had to be done militarily – which he did, but at a price to his own glory. Barak in any case led infantry, not a troop of chariots.
Hot damn, you’re right. For some reason (possibly Celtic ethnicity that puts a female war-leader into a chariot) I had this vision of Deborah up front in a chariot shaking a spear. But it turns out to have been the other side who had them. Mount Tabor does not appear to have been ideal chariot ground, though. But the biblical story combined with the general background history does suggest that an Israel that was only just coming out of the Bronze Age defeated a numerically superior iron-armed enemy, something of an achievement.
Oh, and yet another winner cartoon, guys. I stand in awe.
Now you got it. Right on. And later the Philistines kept Israel from advancing into iron-making for a while (that figures prominently into the story of Saul and Jonathan, before David appears on the scene).
If I could I’d show you a modern photo of Mt. Tabor from the Aerials of Israel collection. Mt. Tabor is surrounded by a plain and that’s where the chariots were. Barak and Co. charged down the mountain slopes to meet them – the chariots definitely wouldn’t manage the slope well and so infantry had the advantage. There is a book out there that I’ve seen, one of probably more than one of its genre, where one or another Israeli general or scholar or both has analyzed the battle tactics mentioned in Hebrew Scripture. People definitely knew how to use the terrain in those days and their example inspired later people, even Gen. Allenby in modern times near Megiddo as I recall.
(sly grin) I think I can see where this is going now. Compliments to the warped mind of the scriptwriter!
Warped mind, slow pen. Jason, where are you when we really need you?
Yup Dirk’s left arm will grow mighty numb, he’s been holding himself over that snowy log for almost 2 weeks
So much for “…do away with him quickly!”
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