LoB fan “Tennessee Charlie” writes a nice, homemade recipe for orc stew in “Aftermath 2″ comments…. it’s was so delectably delightful that I thought I’d post it here on the blog. 
Thanks Tennessee Hannibal (I mean Charlie)! Keep those recipes comin’! LOL
*Quick! Someone draw me what this nice, down-home dish would look like (not gorey – COOKED) and I’ll toss it into this very blog post.
Barwench Tales Homemade Orc Stew
4 lbs. Orc, cut in 1 1/2? or 2? pieces
3 tbsp. lard
4 carrots, chopped
4 stalks celery, chopped in lg. pieces
eyeball (crushed) of newt gingrich
2 yellow onions, cut in lg. pieces
3 c. beef bouillon
2 gallons red wine
4 bay leaves
1/2 c. parsley
Salt & pepper to taste
wow, i think this strip writes itself!!! this is awesome
How sad that he has to throw in the ol’ Democrat Party politics of hate!
Or, y’know, because Eye of Newt is a “classic” ingredient, and adding the “Gingrich” makes it topical.
@Alyred — catfish has the chance of understanding my witty disparaging jests and clever ripostes as a snail in a bucket of salt!
you got it right. just a pun based on a mans name. no political party referenced.
But a man in politics referenced, which may be just as bad.
For ‘em or again’ em, the fact they hold offices and have to deal with really big problems deserves a modicum of respect. Just sayin’…
The cartoon I envisage. A slightly drunken Barwench Sarah lurching about the kitchen, having successfully glugged a goodly amount of those two gallons of wine (well, who said it was ALL meant to go in the stew?)
A nameless meaty stew is bubbling in the pan, and you can just see a stack of discarded Orc armour, such as the shoulderpiece Bill hacked off the Orc general along with his arm (make it the same one – there must have been at least four pounds of meat on that arm!). Several discarded wime bottles, two gallons’ worth, are rolling on the floor.
Caption, or voice bubble, reads:
“Sarah Says: I love cooking with wine! Sometimes I even remember to put it in the food.”
An altenative is Sarah shaking hands with Bill at the kitchen door after he hands her the severed Orc arm along with shoulderpiece. Voice bubble reads: “First catch your Orc…” or “waste not, want not.” Money may change hands… perhaps this can be Frame One and the drunken Sarah is Frame Two.
all animals, including orcs, have four limbs, therefore, four tenderloins. thats prime phil-lay midyon (filet mignon). life like a barbarian is tough. its like sarah palin not having a grogery store at the street corner and having to shoot elk to get meat. nothing is wasted. and orc are better than eating snails or octopus, right?
the wine was for the cook. as long the cook saves some wine for the stew, everything should be excellent.
@Johanan Rakkav — newt gingrich is retired from public office. he makes tons of money giving advice and speeches now. so does that make him fair game????
If you don’t want to be misinterpreted, then you should refrain from metaphorically disoculating real living people. (Yes, disoculating, it’s a real word, because I say so!) Rest assured that if you had picked a Democrat, someone else would be writing in to condemn you. Personally, if I were named Newt, I would probably choose to go by my middle name.
could not find disoculating when i googled. HELP!*!*
if there was another person with the name of NEWT, i promise i will use him in next recipe
can you use something other than orc in the stew? it’s just that they taste like old toenails and dirty soxs… jus’ sayin’…
@BobDog as Death Incarnate — methinks you can make stew out of any mammals. i say mammals so my palate does not have to endure snails, octopus and cockroaches.
Orc, properly prepared, skinned and deboned, should be tasty. when you eat hamburger, which is cow, do you eat the toenails.
no, of course not.
i dont know what they do with cow bones, but i have nice leather jacket made from the hide of a cow. yes, the cow that went into the hamburger i ate for lunch, is now the jacket i am wearing. maybe bill should have a orc hide jacket???
i wonder why McDonalds have NOT developed their own leather clothes line. could advertise on QVC. free big mac with every purchase.